This is a raw unedited entry that i wrote while stuck at my home with no internet, i meant to complete it or edit but chose not to, as i want to capture how i felt back then as it happened.
29/1/2011 7:14pm CLT,
Currently i'm basically held up at my home by the statewide curfew, The regime robbed me of my right of saftey as the egyptian police is no where to be seen, I have no access to the internet, bbm and the celluar phone service is moody to say the least, i'm really exited over the hope of a better tomorrow, a tomorrow i imagined would never come, too exited to keep a single thought in my mind for more than 10 minutes, its like the door to a whole new world of possibilities just opened up, and we are about to step in, still i'm rather worried about the state the country is in right now.
yesterday the police forces withdrew from Tahreer square after failing to confront the massess requesting change, a hope for a better tomorrow, finally the people moved, after years of opression, after i've gave up on most of them, as the police forces withdrew the left the police stations to the looters, basically they just packed up and left, not just the riot police, the entire police force, and then the looters, thugs and crime lords appeared, armed by weapons left intentionally by the police in the abandoned police stationed they started this organized campaign of robbing and looting. i'm sure this has been planned by the regime as a punishment or as a sick and twisted way to get us to request its assistance, everybody i talked to today thinks the same. the official story is that the police force wasn't able to handle all of this so the govronment had to resort to the armed forces, which are deployed in the major intersections and squares, however they are more or less useless, they weren't trained to face looters or rioters, The soldiers are only armed by weapons that can only make the situation worse, they dont have even a place to detain criminals if they capture any. thinking about it when did the police force ever provide any of us with anything other than fear, when did they ever assist me with anything or respond to my call for help, the last two times i needed the police they appeared 2 hours to late, and basically just documented what i've done or have been done to me, they aren't loyal to the people, they dont serve the people, they only exist to serve and protect the regime, and they only helped people for appearance's sake and now that their overlord is being threatened, they have no inclination to help us. most of the people who join the police are people who are in for personal profits, they think of their job in the police force as a way to achieve personal targets, to be respected and feared, i dont believe i should have ever expected them to help or be of any assistance.
currently there is a tank parked at the corner of my street, i've served in the army and i can imagine how the people in this tank must feel like, they have no idea what they are doing, or what to do if they were needed, they are just there hoping for the best, hoping that they wont be needed as they wont have anything todo, they aren't allowed to use their automatic guns, and the tank's main weapon is practically useless in this situation.
The regime wants to give us an impression that things went out of control but all signs indicate that it hasn't, al arabia and al jazeera aren't allowed to go into the streets, the internet and sms service are still down, and nile news (the state's voice) which has been claiming that things were peaceful and things went back to its normal state are trying to triger a mass hysteria, by placing calls from people being attacked by thugs, something they didnt do over the last few days, as they've been consistently claiming that things are under control, so now this dramatic shift only indicates that the regime wants people to panic. which indicates that this security issue thing we are in, was triggered by the govronment, and is controlled by it. however people has taken things into their own hands, as i speak people are standing in the streets everywhere in egypt, people, egyptians are protecting themselves and egypt from the thugs the regime is using against us.
i dont think there is a country in the entire world, that would use criminals, communication black out, police brutality, the army, propaganda and curfew against its own people.
just now the tv is boradcasting images from the egyptian museum, which has been looted, and is currently being protected by the armed forces using heavy weapons and officers, obviuosly they are there to kill as in KILL anyone who tresspases it, earlier yesterday the police gave up on it and left, and the egyptians protesting over there tried to protect it. the officers are sweeping through the museum delta force style. my heart is crushed as i watch the invaluable relics crushed and looted.
My thoughts are shifting too fast for me to be able to compose a proper entry so i'm just documenting things as they go through my head, i believe i like this as it is, i dont think i'm going to edit, i want to keep the dissasociated thoughts look and feel of it.
7:40
i feel violated, i'm locked, blocked from accessing the internet, my security is threatened, and now my heritage has been looted, all done purposefuly by the govronment.
however for the first time in years i dont feel crushed under disspointment and helplessness, i know that we can do something, make that we've done something, all we have to do now is wait and see, we've triggered the change, me, people like me, people who's never spoken before, and even when they did speak no one listened, we are the people who spent a year of our lives serving in the army, sweeping floors and making sure it looks great while not doing anything to the country, we are the people who spend 3 hours everyday stuck in traffic, we are the people who know that we have no access to proper medical service, know that our gov. is selling our natural resources for nothing, we are the people who spend hours standing in queues, while people who have connections go in through the back door delaying us even more, we are the people who are being mocked by the entire arab world as the people who never revolt, who would agree anything and everything, we are considered traitors by the arabi world and followers to america, who on the other hand looking at us as trash, making it almost impossible for us to get a visa into america. this is all going to change, finally i can't wait, and if egypt has to burn for it, so be it, let the fire purgee egypt of all the parasites we have.
7:50
having no security, we just heard noise in the street, obviously thugs tried to attack our street but have been stopped by the people in the street, nothing that serious but people are really edgy, and we all have no idea how we are going to spend the night, people are trying to convince me to leave to sharm el sheikh, however i'm not leaving, i want to be here