On the False Sense of Security and Security Gates

Everyday I pass through these metal detector gates everywhere I go, be it a mall, hotel or even a supermarket, If I'm carrying a bag i most allow the security person there to open it and just sift through it inspecting the items i'm carrying. Whenever i park in a car park, I have to open my trunk to allow the security person standing there to check if i have some ambiguous "objectionable" items. I don't like random people checking what I'm carrying around and I don't believe it provides me with the least bit of security, since these security guards have no idea what they are looking for, I've had it.

I've been vocal about it, the last time I was driving into the mall and as the security guy told me to open my trunk I asked him why? he mentioned something about instructions and securing the visitors, I then asked him about the shape of the thing he is looking for and he wasn't able to answer that, the beauty of it is that a bomb can look like anything, actually it can have the word bomb written on it in big bold red letters and still he wouldn't be able to see it since he's been programmed to look into the trunk then close it without thinking about what he's seen. I dont mind being secured however i know that these under equipped under trained guys provide no security what so ever. But to be fair some places actually equip them, with these bomb detection devices, that they place in front of your trunk for a second most probably turned off and then pull it away declaring that you are clear, and these mirrors placed on stick to check the underside of your car, usually the guy just places it there and walks around the car without even looking. I've done a couple of tests over the last few days, I've been walking through the gates keeping all the metal i have on, the gate buzzes and no one even bothers to stop me, other people have been conditioned to take out all the metal they have before crossing these gates, but as it turns out it makes no difference, no one even bothers to stop or ask you even if you had all the metal of the world on. Today i took it to the next level, as some guy was trying to find out why the gate is buzzing, basically taking off all the metal he's got on holding up a whole queue of people behind him i just went around the gate (between the gate and the security guard watching it) and into the mall!

Additionally to truly secure a place you need to use the same level of inspection they use with people boarding a plane, as in taking off your belt, wallet, bag and shoes off before walking into the supermarket which i'm sure would turn people off from going to any of these "secured-for-your-protection" places, I don't really see people taking off their shoes before walking into carrefour, even better I believe you have all the components you need to build a bomb inside carrefour, so if a terrorist had it in him to target middle class shopping families and decided to blow up carrefour, he can just walk in, buy the stuff he needs to build a bomb, sit in food court, assemble it and then blow it up. Even better, he can just ship it in from the backdoor inside a fridge or something like the one they sell in carrefour.

Whats even more absurd, actually a even too absurd to write about is the level of security they have in smart village. In theory its a good system, as you drive your car in a security guard inspects your ID to verify if you are actually working in smart village before letting you if you aren't working in smart village they take your driving/car license and give you a temp visitor card till you go out again, however its implementation is nothing short of a joke, as you drive in and while you are 10 meters away from the security guy you show him just about any card and he opens the gate for you to drive in, Since there are hundreds of companies in smart village, each with a different looking ID card there is no way for security guy to know if what you are holding up is an illegible card or not, or even if it was really yours, I tried about everything in my car, starting from national ID, to credit cards, to business cards that aren't mine, i even tried a CD cover and it worked just as well.




To sum up, I'm sick and tiered of all of these people going through my stuff, especially they provide me with no added security whatsoever and so I decided to mess with them, next time i'm walking into one of these places i'm going to be carrying a water pistol, condoms, and some nude photos, and lets see if he is going to comment or not.

On Pakring in Cairo

Back in 2002 I was still a freshman and I used to park my car for around 3le in one of Cairo’s most congested places, this included parking my car and later on retrieving it for me, a complete valet service with a smile, by 2006 the parking fee ranged between 5 and 7 depending on how busy the guy was and usually I had to go find my car and find a way to pull out of the parking spot myself, still this 5-7le got me a parking spot that would have otherwise been impossible to find. These days, even if I park in an empty street, I end up paying 3le, even if I’m the only person parked in the entire street.

Last weekend I was parking behind Nile Towers, the place was more or less deserted as most people were spending the weekend out of Cairo, however as I parked, I heard that “khosh ya basha, aywa kedah alah yenawar”, looking around I realized that a 10 years old kid was saying that, standing among a bunch of his friends, I completely ignored him, however later as I was leaving that parking spot, he stood there waiting to collect the parking fee, to this second I have no idea what is he charging me for, he didn’t assist me in parking my car, didn’t wash my car and the street I’m parked in has loads of empty spots, the only thing he did was yelling a couple of meaningless phrases anyway I decided to pay him 3le since I had the change laying there in my car, surprisingly he objected stating that I should pay him “5le ya basha”, I told him hoa kedah, and as I left the parking spot he banged on the trunk of my car. For a second there I felt like I should park and beat the hell out of him, just before realizing the place I’m in and the current state of security in Cairo. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind paying if someone actually helped with parking my car, or even cleaned it for me, However I definitely can’t accept paying for someone yelling at me while parking my car.

Surprisingly this story isn’t that unique or new, this is not even the first time it happens to me, there isn’t a single place in mohandeseen/zamalek you can park in without someone popping out and charging you for parking your own car, the ominous calls “khosh ya basha, aywa ya basha, 7adanha shewaia keda” can be heard everywhere in the streets. It’s even worse than begging, since if you don’t pay your car would be actually at risk. After all the last thing you want is going back to your car to find your tires slashed. A couple of years ago, while parking somewhere in nasr city that happened to me, I objecting to paying the guy and he ended up saying “up to you” in that weird voice, returning 5 minutes later to my car, I found a huge nail coming out of my brand new tire. Of course you can fight with the guy, beat him up even, problem is how many times can you do this, would you do it every day, everywhere you park on every single outing you go on ? not going out at all is easier I think since you won’t have fun anyway.

Again I don’t mind paying someone who’d assist me parking my car, problem is they don’t help, they are just a bunch of opportunistic thugs who sell you the right to park in publically owned street, it actually became acceptable to pay 3le to a guy standing there in the middle of an empty street as you parked your car, even weirder, last summer as I parked in the middle of makeshift parking in the middle of the desert near platform in front of marina, a guy suddenly materialized and he wanted to charge me 5le for parking, I re-parked my car and asked him to let me work with him because he is definitely making more money than I do at work, after all I actually have to work to earn my salary, plus I definitely have more parking experience than he did! Perhaps that’s what I should do, quit my job, find a nice parking spot around Tamarai, and charge people an arm and a leg for parking there, renting a couple of thugs to secure the place wouldn’t be that expensive, even better I can set up a franchise, providing people with a consistent parking experience all over Cairo…I’m quite surprised no body actually did that already…men el akher I’ve had it.

Update
digging around turns out LA times already had an article about "parkers" as they call them standing around city stars.

On all the exotic things we've been eating

Lately everyday we read and hear about the gross corruption this country has been subjected to over the last couple of decades, not that we weren't aware of it, it's just that the level of corruption surpassed our worst nightmares. Obviously anybody could commit the biggest crime against the egyptian people and not be even questioned about it, even worse such people had government sponsorship.

Today I just realized how this fact impacts me personally,  if they've spent  the last 3 decades liquifying and selling our country's assets and had the ability and the lack of conscious to go on national tv justifying their acts as beneficial to Egypt and to us, imagine what they sold to us as food, just the thought makes me shudder.

I just figured  out that all the major food producers must have been corrupt or at least playing nice with corruption, they could escape with anything since they had no governmental supervision of any kind. The question now is what have we been eating over the last few years, actually thinking about it every bite I had was an adventure, most probably with contents I have never knew existed let alone edible.

The up side though is that people usually pay obscene amounts of money to eat exotic things, weve been getting that luxury imposed on us for free.

قيس و ليلي

من اجمل ما سمعت، قيس و ليلي كما يجب ان تغني...

لماذا انا سعيد بأحداث قنا ؟

لماذا انا سعيد بأحداث قنا  ؟ مبدئيا لان تلك الاحداث توضح ان الشعب قد بدأ يطبق الديمقراطية فسواء اختلفت اما اتفقت مع مطلبهم فمن الواضح ان له شعبيه، و لمجرد محاولة فرض الدولة عليهم شيئ لا يريدونه اشتعل الموقف، اعتقد ان اي صاحب قرار سيفكر الف مره قبل اصدار اي قرار لا يتفق مع إرادة الأمة. مما يعني اننا دولة ديمقراطيه الان، و لا مجال العوده لما كنا عليه قبل ٢٥ يناير.

الديمقراطية ليست غايه في حد ذاتها بل وسيله لتحقيق إرادة الشعب، و يمكن بسهوله جدا في دوله مثل مصر ان تؤدي لنتائج كارثية نتيجة للجهل و انعدام بعد النظر لدي اغلب المصوتين، اذا اخذنا الولايات المتحدة كمثال فخلال تاريخهم اتخذوا العديد من القرارات للديمقراطية الخاطئه، و لتجنب ذلك يسعي الصفوه لتثقيف و مساعدة الأقل تعليما علي اتخاذ القرار الصائب. اعتقد ان هذا يجب ان يحدث في مصر...قنا اتخذت قرار ديمقراطي مبني علي الأسباب و الدوافع الخاطئة و قد يكون كارثي علي المدي الطويل بسبب الجهل و كون رجال الدين السلفي المرجعية الثقافية الوحيده لاغلب البسطاء هناك، و بالطبع لا يمكن منعهم من المشاركه في صنع القرار فالحل الوحيد هو تثقيفهم و إعطائهم الأدوات التي تؤهلهم علي اتخاذ قرار انسب لهم علي المدي الطويل و الي ان يتحقق ذلك علينا بقبول إرادتهم الشعبيه و ان كانت كارثيه و هذه هي عاقبة إهمال الصفوه لتعليم الاقل حظا التي يجب ان نتحملها.

انا متفائل و آري ان حتي اخطأنا مفيده لتطور مصر، كلما اسرعنا في ارتكاب الأخطاء كلما زاد معدل تعلمنا، و كل ما تكلم المتطرفين خسروا المزيد من اتباعهم فالديمقراطية كنظام يطهر نفسه، و افضل طريقه لإثبات عدم جدارة بعض الناس هي ان تعطيهم الحريه لفعل ما يريدون. شخصيا اعتقد ان السلفيين يخسرون شعبيتهم يوما بعد يوم فكلما اعلنوا عن موقفا لهم يتبين للمزيد من الناس عدم قدرتهم علي إدارة الدوله، اما الاخوان فهم يمرون داخليا بما مرة به مصر فحاليا هناك تحول ديمقراطي

داخل الاخوان و قرارات مجلس الإرشاد لا علاقة له بإرادة شباب الاخوان الذين يمثلوا الاغلبية.

اصل كلمة تويتر

اصل كلمة تويتر، حدثنا الشيخ الفخفخاني في كتابة "اصول الأسامي للحكم و المعاني" ان كلمة تويتر أتت من الكلمه العربية تواتر، فتواتر النبأ اي انتقل بين العباد، و من المعروف ان تويتر هو وسط انتقالي للأنباء ويستخدمه المسلمين و غيرهم علي حد سواء.

 علي الرغم من عدم معرفة احد لقصة نشأة تويتر و من انشأه فيعتقد العديد من المؤرخين ان مخترعه تأثر بالثقافة العربية عامه و المصرية خاصة، فأنشأه لييسر تواتر الاخبار غير المؤكدة و المعلومات التي تحتمل الصحة، و هذا قد يشير ان من انشأ تويتر قد يكون مصريا، و هذا ما قد يوكده اختيار طائر (العصفوره) كشعار لتويتر، و من المتعارف عليه ان لقب العصفوره كان يطلق علي من ينشر الاخبار او ينقلها "فلان ده عصفوره"

Superman

I don't remember where exactly I read/heard this but it left quite an impact on me, and for reasons that are beyond me I found myself remembering it today and replaying the entire monologue in my head.

Superman is unique in his status as a superhero. A normal superhero dresses up to be able to use his powers, being a superhero is his "alter ego", a secret identity that usually reflects what he believes a superhero should look and behave like, in a way he builds this alter ego to be better than his normal self and to match his perception of other superheros he knows about.

What sets Superman apart is that he's had his powers since birth, even his outfit is what he had in the pod he landed on earth in. Actually he had to invent an "alter ego" to blend in with the rest of normal humans, the alter ego he invented matched his perceptions of how a normal human being looks and behaves. To understand his perceptions all you need to do is to check his invented alter ego Clark Kent is weak, shy, wears glasses, helpless, coward and whenever anything happens he is the first to run. That is how we look to him and hence Clark Kent had all these traits, in  a way Clark Kent summarises what a visiting alien would think of us as human beings.


**update**
I found the quote still I dont recall where I read or heard it, however the source is Wired magazine's "The Myth of Superman"

Other heroes are really only pretending: Peter Parker plays Spider-Man; Bruce Wayne plays Batman. For Superman, it’s mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent that’s the disguise – the thing he aspires to, the thing he can never be. He really is that hero, and he’ll never be one of us. But we love him for trying. We love him for wanting to protect us from everything, including his own transcendence. He plays the bumbling, lovelorn Kent so that we regular folks can feel, just for a moment, super.

احتفاء باللغة العربية، اصل اسم وادي النطرون

يحكي انه و في نفس المكان ... كان في واحد جاب لعياله نطرون صغير يلعبوا بيه ... كعاده الاطفال اتخانقوا مع بعض ...كل واحد يقول عاوز النطرون العب بيه شويه ... في مرة ابوهم اتخنق منهم ... اخد منهم النطرون ورماه من الشباك وقال  ... "واادي النطرون" اللي قارفينا بيه ... ومن هنا جاءت تسميه وادي النطرون بهذا الاسم وفي رواية اخري هي الاقرب للصواب... حدثنا حازم ابن عادل في كتابه "البرنس السندباد في اصول اسامي البلاد" ... انه في العصر الفرعوني ... استقرت مجموعه من البدو الرحل من لب- نان في هذه المنطقه ... وبعثوا  احدهم  ليشتري سجائر للقبيله ... غاب الشخص لعده ايام ولم يظهر له اثر ... مر عليهم مجموعه اخري من البدو الرحل ...لاحظوا تعكر حالتهم المزاجيه ... وعرفوا السبب ... فعرضوا عليهم شراء السجائر من كار- فور المعادي لكنهم رفضوا و فضلوا انتظار صديقهم قائلين ... انا "ناطرون** في هذا الوادي" ... وهكذا سميت المنطقه "وادي الناطرون" ثم حذفت الألف للتخفيف.

** ناطرون في اللهجه اللبنانيه تعني منتظرون ... راجع هامش اغنية "شايف البحر" للسيده فاي- روز "نطرتك انا = انتظرتك انا

The return of national pride and the Arabic language (إنتقام التنين الجزء الثالث)

Ever since people started expressing themselves on social media, English has been the main language. People would always choose setting their status in English even if their English is not that good completely shunning Arabic as it was out of fashion and not trendy enough to be used, I believe this was associated with the alienation most people felt back then, how they felt they didn't belong to Egypt and how it doesn't represent them, choosing English distanced you from it, it was a subtle statement that you aren't a part of Egypt.

Lately and after Jan25, I noticed this slow but steady transition to Arabic, people are using Arabic in Arabic letters to express themselves, Arabic is trendy all over again, I personally believe that this is related to the restored national pride after Jan25, people believe in Egypt again, and want to use the country's language rather than a neutral language such as bad English, I'm not surprised by the fact that the people are now engaged and interested in Egypt I'm however really interested in the pace Arabic is spreading by on social media. This is one of the indirect results of Jan25 revolution, its one of these side effects that you can use to know that Egypt changed to the better. Regardless to what happens now, Egyptians will make it better, after all its their country, they use the language after all right?

I'm proud.

Cairo Traffic, DUCK YOU!!

Everyday I spend at least 3 hours stuck in traffic on my trip to and from work, these 3 hours are enough to turn me off from doing anything else during the day, by the time I'm home I don't feel like doing anything other than laying on the couch and spending whatever is left of my day watching TV like a zombie. I should be reading something or going out with friends however due to the trip home usually I'm too drained to do any of this.

I think that the state of traffic alone is responsible for severely degrading my social life as well as my intellectual ability, on the other hand though it improved my cursing skills, and my ability to day dream while driving, placing myself anywhere but here. Realistically though, by the time I reach work I'm too tiered to do anything let alone be creative and passionate about anything, i just want to sit down and lift my feet for a while, by the time I'm over the morning trip its time for the trip home...day after day, by the time its weekend, I choose staying home over doing anything else, after all avoiding traffic becomes a target of its own.

Staying in some other country the day seemed to go on forever, I got home in like 20 minutes and then had the whole day for myself to do anything i want to with, and most of the time i was stuck not knowing what to do, and after doing everything i want to do, which included going out for dinner, then a walk then back home for 1 hour of reading, slept at 10 PM because I had nothing more to do, and thus i was able to wake up early and refreshed. However in Egypt i usually never sleep before 1am, no matter how early i have to get up the next day, the reason being that otherwise my life would be just divided into two parts, work and traffic, with no me time at all.

I've been dealing with traffic since I started driving and hence i developed several habits to help me pass time such as reading while driving, audio books, always having food and drinks in the car and of course doing all my phone calls and effectively practicing my social life during my drive home, at one point i even started watching movies and series on my way home. I know its dangerous to do these things while driving but lets agree on the following to be driving you must be going at an average speed higher than 30km/h. Currently my average speed is 15Km/h...my record high speed was 60Km/h and low speed was 3Km/h.

The problem is, these traffic jams, happen for no reason, and everyday its a new excuse, things such as

"Its a sunday, dakhlet esboo3 3o2bal amaltak"

"Its tuesday, tuesday dayman wa2ef"

"Its a thursday, khamees ba2ah w kedah"

"Asl el denia mataret embare7!"

"Asl fee 7adtha on the other side of town"

I'm starting to settle into the conviction that this is going to be me life, split equally between work and traffic, and if i want to do anything personal i should either skim from work or from my sleeping hours (6 now), the problem is traffic always win fel akher, no matter how smart you are, you come with the smartest shortcut only to be faced by this unlikely accident blocking it and you end up stuck for 3 hours. I think its a part of my human rights to be able to go to and from my work in less than 3 hours a day, and i believe that if we look for the biggest reason for productivity degradation it'll be traffic.

This entry is just a rant, not structured and is not meant to be taken seriously, i'm just giving traffic a piece of my mind.

DUCK YOU CAIRO TRAFFIC